BMT survivor

Yesterday I met a guy who is a bone marrow transplant survivor at the clinic during follow up. He was good and we chatted a lot and I had a chance to gain much real experience from him.

He had the transplant about 5 years now and still doing fine. According to him, his journey through the transplant period was not that complicated, and I could see that, since he has a lot of positive thoughts from the way he talked and I think it has greatly influence his recovery process. I did ask him what was the thing he was afraid most. He said, the loneliness. Unfortunate for him that he has nobody to company during the one month acute stage. He told me that its great to always have somebody around during the isolation time.

I would consider that I am still a lucky person though. Despite knowing that I am going through a big 'battle' ahead, I have everything around me. My family, friends, my position that always make things easier for me and etc. I have quite enough and readily 'armour' to stand behind me. I think the transplant is not the true real enemy here, but the ill feeling that lies inside is the one that I have to overcome so that it will never suppress the courage.

To that guy, thanks again. It was a great pleasure to inspire your great experience.

tooth story

As part of pre-transplant check-up, I have to undergo a dental clearance. Not to 'clear' all my teeth but to make sure that I don' t have any potential source of infection from any nasty caries. I went to Oral Surgery clinic and apparently, my 2 previous filled teeth has to be redone. So, I got it redone, but after the procedures, I noticed that one of the teeth gave me a terrible pain. I went back to the dentist, only to be informed that I could go for 'Root Canal Treatment'. Knowing that I will only have another 2 weeks before my tranplant day, I chose to have the tooth extracted. It was the advice given by the consultant, though.

At first, I thought it's going to be a simple one, it ended up with a chilling experience since they (the dental team) couldn't pulled my stubborn molar tooth out. The next thing was they have to use blade and surgically removed the tooth by piecemeal (split the tooth, then take one root after another!). The moment the high speed machine touched and doing the cutting job was the moment that I could feel my head was going to explode! And the 'explosion thing' went on and on for the next almost one hour before it all done.

Anyway, I really thanks the team for their hardwork. The post extraction pain was not that bad but I really have that kind of asymmetrical face for the next few days, as if that I always have a durian seed inside my mouth on one side. The swelling has subsided and the bruises from the hematoma on my cheeks started to fade off.

Oh..what an experience.

my family

Last weekend I went back home to my hometown. That was my last trip before my long leave. As usual, I felt excited. Especially when you know that you are not going to have another chance any sooner. To be at mum's home, to watch her excitement when you reach there made me feel that I should always try my best to visit her more often.

That weekend also happened to be my youngest sister's convocation and since this could be her BIG DAY, I want to be around and share one of her biggest celebration.

My not so big family

beautiful lunch

Beautiful Lunch! At least that was the 'theme' called by one of my friend to describe the whole thing. I had a lunch with all my really close friends somewhere around Bukit Kiara last weekend. It was a 'cool' place with reasonably economic price. It was my idea to have the lunch togather before I got 'isolated'.

Actually, among us, we started to frequently meet recently, not because of any kind of ordinary meeting to run a project, but more of a casual 'teh tarik-like' dating. I can feel that having such kind of meet up if not lessen my anxiety toward the upcoming transplant, it has somehow increased my morale. Someway or rather, having to know that you are being circled by caring people around you, can built up our inner strength, the strength that always come togather with courage, courage to fight upcoming obstacles.

We really enjoyed, not only by various taste of foods but also various reasons to talk, giggle and laugh togather. Even more, I was suprised by the gift that has touch my inner sense.

I knew my friends only just past a year now and if the whole relationship is hard to be described in term of words that we used to utter, this 'little beautiful booklet' has assured me that it is not the length of time that determined how closed you are in your friendship, but it is none other than SINCERERITY that bonds the relation. I was amazed by that little book, not only because of the 'gorgeous look' but more importantly I was amazed by the sincere effort that has been put into it. Dear friends, thank you....I will not forget the moment we treasured along.

inspirational quotes

29 days to go

Yesterday I went to the hospital with my brother. We had another blood check up. Apart from infectious diseases screening, it was also for final check up of our matched blood.

Its been quite miserable day for me since I got another bout of bad flu. I just had it 2 weeks ago and this is the third time I got it for the last 6 weeks. So its like every 2 weeks attack. ( I remembered that I used to be attacked by flu more frequent than usual a few months before I knew I have CML).May be because my white cell count is below the normal level. My doctor told me to withold Glivec until I get better.

The runny nose is like 'free flowing',the bodyache and non stop sneezing was really annoying. I started feeling feverish today and it was good enough that I got a medical leave for 3 days. Never mind, at least I primed my body and mind to the actual transplant process which can be worst than these.

The date for the transplant has been set. I will be admitted on 6th Sept. A special intravenous line will be inserted the day after. Chemotherapy will be commenced on 11th Sept and exactly one week after that (18 Sept) I will receive my brother's marrow. After that is the much awaited time, a time where my body will start to produce own blood cells. Usually it will takes about 2 weeks before I am allowed to be 'freed'. Hopefully it will be before 'Hari Raya".

I was also given a list of other check ups to be attended. Dental clearence, Echocardiography (heart scan) and Lung Function Test. That will make my next couple of week occupied.

Now, I have a lots of dates to remember .It is less than a month to the transplant day. Anyway, I am more ready than before. Previously, those days when Glivec works well on me, I keep telling myself that I will escape from transplant and I will never prepare myself for it. But now, although I am a little anxious, waiting to the transplant day seems too long.

Sigh, today is 29 days to go. tommorrow is 28 days........