Good that I can write again.
It has been days that I didn't bother to know what happened outside my own world. I never knew the second type of chemotherapy had really put me down physically and emotionally. From the moment I felt the effect, every second was too long to a minute and every minute seems too long to end a day. The nausea, vomiting and retching, the burning sensation deep inside the throat, togather with headache in the extreme coldness of the room made so distressing. I tried to lie and sleep in the bed with any position that could possibly comfort myself and hoping that I could just closed my eyes hoping everything will over.
Apparently, it was not that easy. The shortest comfort that I could get only be replaced by another cycle of horrible feeling. At one moment that I really couldn't bear it, I ever thought that could this possibly end at anytime and I just want to go home and fetch my son from school and even bring my daughter to go for a car ride and to be in the days I had before...
My wife told me I just have to continue since I ve been this far and with her support and my rational, I said to myself that I HAVE TO SUSTAIN AND JUST TOUGH IT.
In keeping my Faith, I let my self always think that God have gave so much all this time, for most may be I didn't realize....and I should not ever think that this moment He ever forget about me.....only to let me more REALIZE OF HIS PRESENCE....ALHAMDULILLAH (Praise to The Almighty GOD)