It's a good news indeed!

I felt great after I met my doctor yesterday. About my mouth problem, he told me not to worry, because infact it is a sign of GVHD and and since it is mild and limited, I will have benefit more than it could harm. On the other hand, I also developed disturbing eyes discharge. I thought it could be a conjunctivitis, but in actual fact, it is another common sign of GVHD. So far, I could tolerate the symptoms by being more caution on taking any food. The doctor also added anti fungal syrup for me to avoid oral infection.

My work? As I told before, I am more than happy to be back again even though it is not getting back to the normal routine. I haven't start doing surgery yet. Just being around and makes my self comfortable.

my mouth is 'burning'

Lately I noticed that I could not take spicy food anymore. (Frankly speaking, I have slowly started taking spicy food after 3 months post transplant and I didn't have any problem then.) Everytime when I take the meal, I could feel the burning sensation inside the mouth - the feeling like taking a handsful of chillies. After that, I just could not continue eating and it just killed my appetite. When I see inside my mouth, I could see white patches all over. No wonder everyone told me that I am so pale, when in actual fact my lips also turned whitish. Initially I thought it could be an 'oral trush' i.e. fungal infection, but when I had a chance talking to my colleague (pediatric oncologist) over a casual discussion, she thought it could be a sign of GVHD (Graft versus Host Disease). Apparently this GVHD is a good effect since it is an effect that could wash away residual cancer cell but not to the certain extent that it may harm the host (me myself). Anyway, during the last follow up I was warned about having this GVHD problem when the anti rejection drug was further reduced before completely cease next week.

I ll be seeing the doctor next week and hope he will say some good news.

my first day-working back again

Yesterday was my first day back to work after almost 7 months I was away. It was a great time meeting with all the people that I used to work with. Everyone also excited apart from being a bit surprised from the feature changes that I had now. My lack of hair, tanned skin ( I am not as fair and white as before- the effect of Glivec) from the effect of chemotherapy has made some of my colleague couldn't recognized on the first look.

But I am glad that they all as warm and kind and looking forward to see me more like I used to be. For the time being, as been reminded by my physician, to take it easy for the first 3 months, to limit the contact with patients. So I just hang around in the office and the most I went to the operating theatre just to say hello to the staff.

By the way, I am still coughing away from throat infection since a week ago and it seems a bit slow to recover. Hope it is not serious....

after 6 months

It has been 6 months now from my transplant day. I remembered one transplant survivor told me, time flies faster than you think when everything started to become 'normal' around us.

For now, I still visit the hospital for follow up. The wound on my chest has further shrunk in size. I positively think that this wound problem will finally over, and completely heal in another month or so.

Last weekend, me and my family went back to our hometown, the last trip that we had was 8 months ago. We spent the whole period of school holiday at both my mom and in-laws house. It was a great time for me. I managed to visit my friends also.

Starting back to work? Yes, I am going back to hospital (as a doctor) next week. Anyway, its going to be an 'office' job first, as assured by my boss, at least for a couple of weeks, when I completely stop taking immunesuppresive medicine.

The last 6 months had given me a colourful experience, eventhough not as tough as other patient. I had encountered many people and also spend a lot of times and in many ways, I hope, will help me to be more patience.

the much awaited result

As usual I went to the hospital yesterday. First, for my post transplant follow up and secondly for wound dressing.

The much awaited blood result sent to Singapore was ready and it showed that I do still have very, very minimal residual 'tracing' of this cancer marker. However, it is very much below the acceptable value and should not raised any unnecessary worrisome. I still feel so much thankful to God. However, yes, I would be more than happy if the result showed that I do not even have any 'tracing'. Having said that, the next possible plan is to get my brother to again donor his white cell (lymphocytes) for me. These lymphocytes can act as another troop of army to take out those remaining potential cancerous cells. The harvesting procedure is very much similar for him and the infusion process on me is very much minor if compared to the normal transplant process. Albeit, the consequence of GVHD is not something to be considered less seriously. The procedure will be planned after I completed the Cyclosporin, i.e. after 6 weeks times from now.

By the way, the wound on my chest has shown a lot of improvement but still a long way to completely closed. I just hope that it will be sooner so I could resume working in April.

after the third surgery

The third surgery went smooth but I was shocked when I first saw the second wound. It was much bigger than the first wound and obviously much uglier, sitting at the base of my neck. For a moment, I just sat and couldn't believed that the problem could ended this bad. I have nothing to regret, only a feeling of a 'lost'. A lost of something that you used to have. People says, if you want to gain some, you have to lose some. I became more aware of having and appreciating good health lately. Having repeatedly admitted and repeatedly felt how it was being a patient, talking to other patients (not as a doctor) has kept me reminded to be as wise and empathy.

Today, after spending 5 days in the ward, I was discharged home. I still have to go to the hospital everyday for wound dressing. I must tell how good it was to be home again, at least it is still the best place to feel good spiritually.

I guessed the wound will get better, in the end. Just be more patience, even though it has make my daily movement limited and restricted.

*I hope I don't pick up a nasty 'bug' on the wound.

the third surgery

I just got called from the hospital. The surgeon has reviewed the scan and they feel the sinus is quite simple and just lied under the skin. Not extending in to the deeper structures on my right chest. I developed another small abscess along the tract of Hickman's tunnel, just above the collar bone. I guess the infection is still active and trying to find its way out through another door. That was the other reason I keep reminding the surgeon on what is their next plan when they seem to 'lost'.

I will get admitted today and hope this would be the last surgery for this quite distressing problem.

the good and not so good news: no. 2

For the whole last week, I was admitted. It was not a preplanned decision as I was supoosed to be discharged soon after the daycare surgery. The surgeon felt that I should have the daily 'aggressive' dressing in the ward. The sinus ( i.e the persistent Hickman's tract ) still and even larger than before the first surgery. Now I have an even larger and longer (about a little finger length tunnel) under the skin of my right chest. It has been more than a week now and the team feels that I ought to have a special dyed scan to see the extent of the 'not so SMART' tunnel. Oh.. I just got informed that it is going to be next Friday. The further plan depend on the scan findings. I just could not imagine what surgery I am going to face next...

Anyway, despite all those painful news, I am still in joy when the F.I.S.H (Flourescent In Situ Hybridization) test showed a negative signal. In a more simple meaning, I do not have anymore potential blood cells that carry the cancer signal, at least from the standard test. I am still waiting for another more sensitive test result which was sent down to Singapore about 2 weeks ago.

not another surgery

Not long after I was so much excited, the wound over my chest that I thought would have completely closed by now, does not happened. It has gone down to the smallest size but failed to dry. On that moment, I knew that the problem is not going to settle at anytime. So I went to see the surgeon again and as I had expected, I need to go for another surgery and hope this will be the last one.

Tomorrow I will be admitted as a day care patient and going home as soon after the surgery.

after 4 months post transplant

I went to the hospital yesterday. Now the follow up is once in 2 weeks. My blood results were good.

The wound over the chest is still there but it has so much contracted and I am doing the dressing my self every two days. I just wondered why the previous tunnel tract became thickened and hard and I could feel a tightness everytime I turn my head.

I have lose about few kilos since a couple of months ago, but I am still above my usual body weight. My hairs getting more appreciated but it still thin and as I can still see the scalp underneath.

I have been calculating on when is the best time that I could go back to work. The best time could be when the antirejection pills (which now on tapering dose) completely stop in another 2 months or maybe I can use the "hair test" i.e. when the hair is thick enough and completely covered the underneath scalp, then, that could be the best time. Hahaha..... Hopefully eveything will go as planned.

Any better ways?